Justice League


    Justice League is a culmination of Warner Brother’s and DC’s efforts and it is upon us. This is the movie that their 4 previous efforts were leading to. Unfortunately, for the fans, it was exactly that. 3 of those 4 films ranged from tragically bad to almost mediocre. Wonder Woman was the only one that was worth it. So mathematically speaking when adding all the parts together, you’re adding 75%  objectively bad films and one great film together. What you end up with is the tonally inconsistent, visually terrible, narrative train wreck of a film that has good characters that interact well with each other. 


    WB spent $300 million to make this movie and apparently none of it went to the writers, directors, or special effects department. The catering must have been spectacular because when you watch this movie you would never expect it to have the budget it did. The story was an absolute bore. While ultimately it does get from point A to B, it does so in a drudging fashion that will almost put you to sleep. The main villain, Steppenwolf, is probably the most forgettable villain in the history of comic book movies. Every element of him is utterly and completely basic. What are his motivations? To take over the world. Why? Because that is what he does. How does he do this? Vague nondescript army of random alien like things just attack people and places with him. (Yes, I know they are Parademons, no it doesn’t matter.) Does he at least have a memorable moment? Yes, just because he is like every other comic book movie villain ever. If you can remember anything any other bad guy did in their respective movie then you can remember something he did. There are no stakes. Obviously the bad guy won't win, but it is more obvious in the movie because of how much of an after thought of a character he is. At no point in the movie do you actually get the impression that he will actually do anything of consequence. 


    The one thing the narrative has going for it is the heroes themselves. Combining Jason Momoa, Henry Cavill (especially with his CGI [unconvincingly so] removed mustache), Ben Affleck, Gal Gadot, Ezra Miller, and Ray Fisher (don’t feel bad for not knowing who he is, but don’t be surprised if you see more of him) seems like it’d be a hard task to balance. Well that is true because it took 2 directors to do so. The tremendously forgettable action and plot was handled mostly by Zak Snyder and most of the dialogue was handled and fixed by Joss Whedon in reshoots. The problem is, it never finds that balance to save itself. Some parts stand out with a flourish that is delightful, then it’s followed up with a scene that ruins any goodwill the previous scene provided. Sometimes the differences in directors was so noticeable it is down right jarring. Joss’s scenes did stand out as mostly positive though because they were the ones that allowed the characters to shine through and be what they were meant to be: heroes. 


    The single worst thing about this movie is the CGI. It is 2017 and the movie cost $300 million. There is no reason at all for this movie to look so terrible. It is almost comically bad. The aforementioned removed mustache, the entire look of Steppenwolf, the aesthetic of Atlantis, and the inconsistent looks of the Flash and Cyborg. This is why you never want someone to have to mention the budget. It typically means that something doesn’t add up in a bad way. Yes there are always exceptions (Deadpool) but that is rarely ever the case. Don’t let the budget be a crutch to justify anything. This movie has the unfortunate role of it not making any sense. So much money was spent and you can’t ever see where. 


    There is very little that redeems this film. The characters are the shining light in the abysmally dark movie. They can’t save it though. The valleys are too low and the mountains aren’t high enough. The film continues dragging itself along and going further down a track that leaves you in a dark tunnel with no light at the end. It feels like an exercise in behavioral correction. Every time you start feeling happy or you’re having fun, they ruin it and hit you with something boring or dreary. This is a sad step down from the highs of Wonder Woman.


47 Non Mustache Mustaches out of 100. (47%)




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